Apologizing: Uchiha Style
by Civil Enough
Summary: How can one emotionally retarded Uchiha win back the love of his life- if he’s not even good at anything aside from scalding insults and brutally murderous threats? By writing letters of course!... Wait a sec, why are they censoring every single word?


**Disclaimer: Was done during my weeb phase. *squirms* Technically not mine.**

**Warning: Extremely OOC **

**Note: All the text in parenthesis are supposed to be crossed out so... idk. ff net does some things to the text format.**

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**Apologizing: Uchiha Style**

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**To the Ever Lovely Uzumaki Naruto,**

(Where the hell are you, moron?) (If I don't see your face here at my apartment I'm gonna sharinggan your ass)(Damn, idiot, it was only a fling, okay?!) How are you Naruto? I've been thinking about our breakup lately. And you know what? I think it's all a mistake (which just proves that you really are an usuratonkachi for ever breaking up with me) to begin with.

I still love you, and I'm pretty sure you feel the same way about me too(, and fucking hell if you don't)(how dare you blame me, moron) You were the one at fault because you were so suspicious that you didn't trust me.(How many fucking times do I have to say that I need some time for myself?) But I understand. (You know it's only natural for me to be with a girl, having this gorgeous body.) And I hope that you do as well, that I am a man with needs too.

I saw you crying on the sidewalk on your way home last night, Naruto. So that must mean you still love me, right? Do you stay up all night thinking about me; us? (If you're not; then I'll make sure to keep you awake to get back at all the times you made ME sleepless.) Well, you don't need to anymore. I'll give you a chance if you want to (and I'm pretty sure you do) to apologize and realize your mistakes.

I know that giving (me) our relationship, up isn't that easy (since I am _the_ Uchiha Sasuke after all,) (you can definitely call yourself lucky for having me) because we've been through so much together, so; I'm giving you a second opportunity.

I'll be waiting for your (ass at my apartment with a lube ready) reply.

**From The Ultimately High and Mighty,**

**Uchiha Sasuke**

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**To the****(Only Mine) (Mine, Damnit!)****Sweet Naruto,**

I wrote to you again since you didn't reply to the message I sent you. (You're seriously making me waste paper here, moron.) (How DARE you ignore _me_?!) Maybe you haven't received it yet? (The fuck, are you that stupid not to check your own mail?!) That's okay, (because I'll just break your bones later) maybe you could reply to me after this? (And that was a demand, idiot.) If you're not too busy that is.

Well, if that's the case, then let me repeat my proposal to you: Since I still love you and it's undoubtedly clear that you love me too, I'm giving you the chance to apologize for breaking up with me and continue where we left off. (Possibly a lot of hot make up sex would do.)

Like the idea? ( Of course you do.)

You can send me a reply as early as possible so I'll know when to prepare (the chains and my bedroom) a reservation at the restaurant for the both of us. Or are you planning to surprise me at my house with roses, chocolates, (a night of hot S&M love making) and a kiss? Good idea!

Well, I'll be waiting for (your sweet ass) you then, Naruto; and don't take too long since it's really cold in bed without (clothes on) you. Would you like to keep me warm for the night?

**From The Gorgeous and Downright Sexy,**

**Uchiha Sasuke**

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**To the Very Attractive Uzumaki Naruto,**

Did you run out of papers again? (Or maybe that Hinata bitch did something to the letters?) Or maybe you just didn't get the letter? (AGAIN, Naruto?! Are you trying to piss me off or something?!) Well, either way, I really (demand) wish for a reply from you soon Naruto. (I'm really getting pissed at my nightly erection from dreaming of you and with no sweet assed uke to use it on.) (It's so lonely at night without you.) ( Fuck, I can't believe I wrote something as corny as that.)

Oh, by the way,(you better like) did you like those gifts I sent you? (Take care of it, or else.) That bouquet of roses along with the chocolates and heart shaped stuffed toy cost a lot, (and maybe even beating up that store owner who kept on looking at me like weirdo was pretty bothersome.)

But it was really nothing compared to the sweet smile I know you're giving me right now. (Or the erotic and sexy pose you're doing this moment while reading my letter) (Or the way you're preparing yourself, thinking of me with a vibrator up your)(Or the way you're raising your ass up in the air, imagining me fucking you raw inside the bathtub) (Damn, I'm getting hard) You should keep those when we get together again.

**From the Handsome and Prince-Like,**

**Uchiha Sasuke**

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**To the Charming and Wonderful Uzumaki Naruto,**

Something must be really wrong with the mailing process here in Konoha. I should check the post office sometime (and kill them all) if they don't let you receive all the letters I'm sending pretty soon.

I (tried to break in your house) visit you last night to get a reply but your door and windows (wouldn't break) were locked; and when I tried to call you out, (somebody that sound a lot like you; but couldn't be you; shouted, "Fuck off!") nobody answered, so (are you fucking with someone other than me, huh?! Are you? ARE YOU?!) I guess you were already asleep by then.

By the way, what you did to those presents I gave you was very artistic; if I must say so myself.

The stuffed heart toy nailed to the door was full of (sexiness) emotion. (Is that a hint for me to nail you and hump you against the door like that?) That must mean that you love me too much that your heart is bursting with love, eh?

But I don't get the inscribed writing on the door though. It said "Uchiha Sasuke, you are my prison" right? (Does that mean you're my sex slave now? Cool.) Of course, I'll never let you go.

Oh, and the flowers I bought must be really a waste of money because (it looks like shit now) it wilted easily; since you threw it on the garbage can outside. Don't worry; I'll buy (a thong and some bondage chains) fresher and prettier flowers next time.

But I really hope that I get to (have sex) see you when I (try to break in) visit again.

**From the Alluring Sex God,**

**Uchiha Sasuke**

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**To the Endearing and Adorable Uzumaki Naruto,**

Naruto, what was that (fucking prissy whore) Gaara doing at your doorstep last night? (Are you cheating on m- DAMNIT ALL! NO WAY IN HELL WILL I TRY TO EDIT THIS FUCKING LETTER ANYMORE! Are you cheating on me with that goddamn sand eater?! Are you sleeping with him in bed?!

You better explain this to your boyfriend right now- 'cuz I'm your boyfriend damnit! I am! Not that, fucking pale and weird painter who was sitting beside you at the river this morning; not that stinky, filthy dog breath who was eating ramen with you at Ichiraku's this afternoon; and certainly NOT that freaky red headed sand creep who walked you home and _even_ had the balls to _kiss_ you on the cheek- Uchiha property, damnit! Uchiha property! Fine, what if I did follow you around this whole day?! So sue me if I want to stalk _my_ boyfriend who just wouldn't fucking reply to my letters! Sue me for wanting to fuck him raw on the sidewalk just so every single twit in Konoha would know he's mine?! Okay, maybe that would really get me sued, so don't.

…

Wait, what the hell am I thinking; of course not, right? You love me too much to do that.

But still, he was pretty fucking irritating. He was being all arrogant and just plain damn irksome, saying things like "Let him go already, he already me moved on" and "He doesn't love you anymore, you should leave him alone", or "Get over it Uchiha"

What the fuck was that about? Next time he even tries to lay a single finger on a tiny tip of your hair, I swear that I'll rip his guts through his asshole. Of course you still love me, and you always will Naruto; we both know that…

Right, Naruto?

You should tell that to the red-haired-no-eyebrow freak the next time he visits. And fuckin' tell him to leave you alone and not to visit you anymore or I'll make sure not only his eyebrows are missing. I don't like the way he looks at your ass when we used to walk together with him. And I _definitely_ don't like the idea of another guy in your house aside from _me_, okay Naruto-chan?

When will we sleep together again? I'm counting the days left before our anniversary and I'm really excited. You should have perfected your apology speech by then.

**From the Ever Loyal and Faithful**

**Uchiha Sasuke**

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**To the Irritating but Stunning Uzumaki Naruto,**

Why aren't you replying to my letters? Did something happen to you? Or is someone preventing you from replying? Tell me and I'll castrate him.

Anyway, I'll just meet up with you again outside your doorstep, so be there; ok?

If you don't then I'll probably think that you don't have any intentions of apologizing to me at all. And we both wouldn't want that to happen now, would we?

**From the Elegant and Dazzling**

**Uchiha Sasuke**

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**To My Lovely Uzumaki Naruto,**

Uh, I guess you're on a mission last night?

Yeah, that must be it.

Well, don't worry Naruto, I understand. Must be pretty hard, training to be the next Hokage, ne? I just hope that you'd have some time last night to at least see my surprise dinner… for you…

Heh, I… I know how much you love Ramen Naruto. So, I kind of made you some. Shame you didn't get to eat it with me. Your loss… usuratonkachi.

Moron. If… if I didn't know any better I would have cried. Fuck, yeah, cried. And I'll swear to slam your ass so hard on the mattress you wouldn't be able to walk for a week if you laugh. Made me almost think that you were avoiding me.

But, you're not. Of course you're not. Why would you? You love me, right Naruto?

You said you love me… didn't you?

When you finish with training, come to see me, ne?

**From The Ever Waiting**

**Uchiha Sasuke**

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**Dear Naruto,**

Please. I beg you. I beg you Naruto.

I beg you.

I beg you to read this for once.

I…

I'm sorry. I love you.

I should have said those words earlier. I really love you, Naruto. I miss you, and I can't stand it. You're everything and the only one I want. I love you, damnit. I love you too fucking much. I don't care about the sex. Fuck the sex. Call me teme again, will you? Call me… call me anything, Naruto, just damn call me! Look at me, idiot and talk to me! Please don't avoid me anymore.

I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for being an abusive bastard, a cheater or an arrogant royal jerk. I'm sorry for not showing how much I love you. I'm sorry for letting us fall apart so easily. I'm sorry for leaving you once and breaking your heart. I'm sorry for breaking your heart again after you saw me with other women. Say that I'm a teme, a spoiled, socially retarded emo. Damn me to hell, I deserve it. Everything you said about me is true.

I'm sorry for pestering you with the letters. I shouldn't have done that. Immature, yes, but it was too hard to face the reality of waking up in bed, feeling cold, without you.

For all the tears you cried, to all the pain I've caused… and to all the times I made you wait. It was only when we broke up that I realized how much I love you and how scared I was not to have you by my side anymore. It really scares me to think that I'm not the right one for you.

Maybe I'm really not.

I'm sorry for looking at other girls. I was so scared, Naruto. So scared to let you in my life, in my heart. I thought that cheating on you would make me feel less attached, but… But it only made me feel disgusted with myself.

It wasn't okay, it wasn't right. It never was, and it Fucking. Never. Will.

Because it isn't you.

I'm sorry for making it seem like I was only into you for sex. It not that, Naruto. It's never just about the sex. Those nights, when I still had you in my arms, although the fuck was good, it couldn't compare to what I felt every time you say I love you. Your voice, your eyes, your sincerity. That's all I want. That's all I need. That's all I need to live- but I lost it.

I'm sorry for calling you an idiot. I'm the idiot. I didn't realize how important you were to me until you were gone. And I'm the one at fault, the one who can't let you go. It's really painful Naruto, what I'm feeling right now.

But… you know what hurts this foolish Uchiha more?

It's the fact that I know that I deserve all this pain I'm getting. Maybe even a whole lot greater.

Now, laugh at me, Naruto. Laugh at me all you want. For being so stupid, for being so weak, for being such a coward. I was such a damn coward to let go of what I had been in the past, and now I'm stuck with the only bright future I had clung onto now gone.

Damnit. Damn it all to hell. Because all I can do now is beg. Yes, beg. You've reduced me to begging, Uzumaki Naruto. Begging for forgiveness, begging for your love.

I never thought I could cry this much.

Never.

I don't want to hold you back anymore. I don't want to be a burden. I want to see that sun-kissed smile on those beautiful lips of yours again… I want you to be happy, even though it isn't me you're happy with. Even if I know I'd feel like dying, every time you avoid looking into my eyes when we meet. Just please… please be happy, for yourself, and for me too. If it would kill me, seeing you with another guy, then… then I know it'll send me straight to hell if I know you're hurting because of my idiocy.

And I know it's too much too ask, but please, can't you at least forgive me?

You made me cry, worry, have my own personal ray of sunshine, and experience the love I never had. You changed me and made me human again. I love you and that will never change.

Yes, I still love you. I love you so much it hurts.

And I love you that much enough to let you go and see you happy… even if it's not me you're happy with.

I wish you'll find happiness with the one you choose. If he breaks your heart again, tell me and I'll break his face.

Though I really wish I could hear you say happy anniversary to me… one last time.

**Love,**

**Sasuke**

**_To Sasuke-teme,_**

_Took you long enough to apologize, bastard. And damn, the paper's so wet and salty I barely had the chance to read it._

_I can't believe you friggin cried. *snigger* Sorry; just had to rub that one in your face._

_Fine. I love you too, so stop crying, Sasuke. I'll say that everyday if you want. If you're such a smart ass duck-butt then how come you don't know it hurts me just as much as it hurts you to see the love of my life crying like a retard?_

_Yes, happy anniversary; and that wouldn't be the last time I say that._

**_Love,_**

**_Yours and Yours Only_**

**_Naruto_**

_P.S. I'll beat you to a pulp if you even dare think about giving me up to someone else, teme! Cut the crap, I know you'll probably murder anyone I date, dattebayo!_

**The next morning…**

**Note to my Beloved Bride Uchiha Naruto,**

Good morning Naru-chan.

**XOXO ~u~**

You were sleeping so peacefully on my bed like an angel so I didn't have the guts to wake you up. You were so cute so I just let you sleep and watched you breathing for a while. Does it bother you? Anyway, you should put on the clothes I prepared for you beside our bed so you wouldn't catch cold. I guess it wasn't a very bright idea of mine to have our honeymoon in the middle of December; I have to admit I was a little impatient. Well, you can't blame me… being too cute and stuff. Hah, did you see that sand monsters face? He was totally-

Sorry, I was rambling again.

…JThanks for last night. I think I love you more this time than I did yesterday

I just went to the store for a while to buy us some breakfast; and of course love, I'll buy some Ramen. I'll be back soon.

**Hugs and Kisses From Your Faithful Husband,**

**Sasuke**

**p.s. If you need anything, you can just call me, I'll be there right away. No kidding. Or do you want me to come back this very second?! Damn, I knew I shouldn't have left! Call me, if you want to okay? Okay?**

**p.p.s. Oh, and I swear I didn't beat up that (fucking)****(perverted)(flirty)****room service guy this morning for staring at you too long.**

**p.p.p.s. Ok, maybe I did; but he deserves it! You're not mad at me, are you?**

**p.p.. Sorry for the long p.s', I just had to say I love you again. I love you Naruto.**

Naruto chuckled at the absurdly funny note his paranoid lover- now husband- left. "Never changed the habit of editing murderous notes into more civilized ones, eh teme?"

Picking up the note and reading it again for the second time, he felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips.

This wouldn't be the best day of his life; no, because he knew, that every single day with the Uchiha, albeit full of possessiveness; would be the greatest ever. He then laid back down on the bed, a whisper escaping his mouth,

"Love you too, Sasuke."

-fin


End file.
